| Tracy 的个人资料Don't be so naive...照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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Don't be so naive...3月4日 not familiar with here anymorefeel like this blog doesnt belong to me anymore
im quite unfamiliar with here
I dunt know
if its cuz so many things happened around everyday
or there is nothing special happened at all..i
dunt have much to say in this blog...
tho i had been here for a few times
and left without writing or doing anything 10月31日 闷闷!!!!!
je suis tressssssssss foulle!
hopefully this is the worst mark ever....
actually im ok with it
even right now im thinking abt gossip girl...
What's wrong with me?!
NOT READY FOR ANYTHING
10月26日 guiltyEst-ce que vous vriament aimez moi?
except that I have the best parents ever,
which makes me have a strong and deep feeling of guiltiness.... 10月19日 sigh*feel like havent written here forever...
the life in university is in a fast speed...although only one and half month passed, its already half of the term
i prepared myself as a chinese student who is gonna have university entrance exam...just be as hard-working as them, I guess there shouldnt be any problem... I dunt feel like complaining when i was doing piles of assignments and preparing for the midterms which r one after another. Today, however, the last "defence line" seems to be broken. I just realized that I totaly put the matter of act sci exams behind my mind...when am i supposed to take them? how am i supposed to take them?!question marks...feel like everyone is trying their best to go forward, but i only wanna stay at this point and take a break
Im stuck...
im "enjoying" the feeling of craziness~hohohoho (wanna be psycho!) 9月16日 长大了～以前总是盼望着18岁，19岁。。。认为那才是青春的开始
现在觉得那是很傻的想法，我为什么曾会盼着自己长大呢？！
长大了，意味着要独立了。。
究竟怎样才能独立。。。我又能拿什么独立
直到现在还需要妈妈帮着收拾包包呢
可是我18了
在魁北克省也酒吧，赌场随便走了呢。。。hahahaha
难不成。。。。长这么大就是为了这个？-_-;;;;
再怎么说我也在这个世界上“糊里糊涂”的过了18年了呢
鼓掌！！！！！！！！！！！
不管了，爸爸来了，呵呵，这回是真的来了
8月30日 packing....i just finished packing today....
 nahhhhh...actually it was my mum helped me with my packing today...I dunt know....I wanna try to live by myself..but when i think about those tests...exams and sth like that...im quite annoyed. If students dont have to take those kinda things, then perhaps i would like to study some day...lolz
nahhhh...thats actually the only motivation i study hahahah
im not quite sure if i still know hoe to write essay...=S
eng+math tests coming throughout the orientation...i still dunt know why i go to this kinda boring orientations...im sure i will still hang out with old friends anyways...whats the point of the orientation to me?!
8月26日 empty[ness]My last shift today....and my first job ends here...=S
I think that I can even count the # of times I went for work by using fingers...this is sarcastic...I have always wanted to devocate myself fully to my job, but after getting it, I realized that it is uncontrollable to have other petit things block my way of going to work on schedule
Although the work is heavy and sometimes even dirty in mcdonald, Im glad to have this as my first work! Im quite happi to know these companions who r working at the same mcdonald (for sure, there r still one or two are pretty annoying) but most of them r sweetttttttttttttt!!!!!
My last week be4 the first yr in loo starts! and esp i have nothing much to do
How will i spend them without regret?! I even quit my job now..........emmmmmmm
empty...ness 7月12日 volleyball~i love itI feel extremely happi today~cuz of the random volleyball competition, it was sooooooo cool!!!!
I have never expected to be involved in a volleyball activity~from 2 VS.2 developing to 4 VS.4.
Our side in the end become "filles" group~I was surprised by the result of our cooperation. Some balls that I dont think it is possible to be passed over, but we did it. For sure there were "beaucoup de" mistakes as well,but compared to fun, they do not really matter at that time
This is my first time to have volleyball random competition and also, this is the time I learned to serve the ball. Thxxxxx Nazin (I guess her name is spelled like this)..."peut-etre" also the "cool guy" (the monitor)....at first I couldnt serve over...but after he told me to use the full power and blurblurblur (since he spoke French, it was sooo hard for to repeat the exact how he said, but I got the meaning without thinking)...I served the ball over!
What I also cant believe is that I am beginning to be fond of volleyball in French immersion~~French~~I still have lots to learn...like "smash", "tooch" ( i dunno the spelling in French~its sth like that anyways~haha)
it was abt 1 hr...i was sweaty...my arms hurt...but i felt sweet~
7月10日 Jardins enchantesJardins enchantes happened a few days ago, but i was too lazy to write down my feelings abt it=P
Its the scene which I always have watched from TV....a small garden with countless flowers and grass...and there are three musicians play instruments in the middle of the gardin, violin..keyboard...blurblurblur...I have always thought that this is wonderful and this is the life that western people enjoy...actually this is not really that enjoyable as I thought, cuz the sunshine is too strong. I feel like to be burned. This is my first time to sit down and listen to classical music. Although I dont really like it, the atmosphere is the one I always expect for (of course, at this time I think abt mum, cuz im sure she likes this kind of stuff more than me
I love watching dramas and films...but not including French ones. I just realized that although French sounds so romantic and great, the French films and songs makes me feel dissappointed...there is no plot for the films but one short clip followed by another. Plus, lots of the songs are composed without melodies....Je ne peux pas supporter
What else...I feel the first week is kinda long...and there are still four weeks.... 7月1日 饱眼福了～What am I supposed to say?! Im at beginning beginning...which means the really beginner...okay, I knew that long time be4...but I cant stand myself that I even forgot the most basic stuff when I got into the interview room...forget it!
The male monitor on my floor is quite cute and he also solved my internet pro, which makes me rethink whether foreigners have slow brain or not...I just met my French teacher...who is also cute~GOSH!I just realized that all the French-related males are cute! From the Gr9 French course to this program...lolz
I dunno abt French...but my Eng is becoming more and more influent...since its really hard to see Chinese here...Even if there r Asian faces..they speak Eng like native speakers....Certainly, there r some ppl whose Eng sucx...but thats cuz their first language is French
I havent even visit the town although I have been here for almost 2 days
wanna sleep...again~ 6月30日 like a dream~Now Im involved in the French immersion...which I have expected for a long time~
Almost as hard as I thought...I have never heard that much French be4. Right now, I finally can understand mum's feelings and realize how strong mum is. Without knowing a language but living under the environment where speak the language is a pretti stressful thing. Even though I have tried to listen what they were talking abt all the time, sometimes I couldnt get a single thing. Im not frustrated cuz I love French, but Im a little scared cuz being a mute requires lots of courages too. Mum didnt show any of her scariness during the first yr in Canada although she didnt not know what local ppl were talking abt...
Tomrw is the replacement test..I do not expect it so much cuz I know Im a beginner. Everything is perfect except there is always a group of ppl gossip in front of my door, which makes me feel annoyed. How come they have so much to say???!!!
I need to look at those survival phrases...emmmmm...I need to survive...lolz
6月6日 timid今天早上看到有个人从很远的地方向在公车站停着的公车飞奔而去。。。我当时认为他肯定赶不上了，要是我的话铁定是慢悠悠的走过去 GIVE UP>.< 看着他越来越向公车逼近，而公车因为红灯的原因还是停在那里，让我觉得他能坐上那部车的希望大了起来。。。直到最后， 他坐上了那部公车， 证明了我最初的判断是完全错误的。。。I dunno where he got such energy..to have the hope at the very beginning...I have no idea what Im doing now. I feel like staying at the same position and looking around. It seems that I want to make sure what others' plans and then decide what Im gonna do, or Im scared...abt sth. that I dunno even know what it is...probably future...probably university...probably graduating...probably my laziness...probably being an adult...probably....expectations
If I were in his shoes, I would not attempt to catch that bus, cuz I don't think that I have hope at the beginning.
It is a pathetic thing to be timid. I used to be brave..very brave
Regardless how hard Im trying now, I just cant find such hardworking feelings...maybe one day I would wake up after knowing that the uni dream is over...offer is gone...or....
6月4日 GOOD LUCK高考的朋友们，
加油啦啦啦啦啦啦啦！！！！！！！
Everything will definitely be gone through after the two days=) 6月3日 ConfidenceConfidence....I need to get my confidence back. Im not sure where I can get it. Has someone stolen it? then plz return it asap...or probably I lost it somewhere, but am I able to pick it up someday and become myself again? Where is it? im knida frustrated these days. Im not satisfied abt myself. Its not abt a little bit...but a lot.
"Confidence!" It reminds me of the scene which Annie tells Seth in the O.C.When will I have the right to speak to others like that?! I used to possess it....now I do not,definitely. 5月7日 第一次明天会是我人生中的第一次穿上职业装。。。去一个比较正式的场合
不久之后的这个月。。也会有我的第一次穿上晚礼服。。。参加prom
本以为我马上还会有第一次戴上隐形眼镜。。然后继续戴下去。。谁知道我的眼睛就是决定要”咬紧““窗口”。。。怎么戴也戴不上
本以为我们已经是很好的朋友了。。。就算很久不见面。。就算见面也因为忙碌而只能擦肩走过。。或匆忙的打个招呼，却从眼神或表情中足以看出对方的心情。。。可是今天才知道其实也不是那样的。。。她也不是我心目中大大咧咧的性格。。。是我过于简单完美的想象力，并不是她的错 4月26日 适度做什么事情都要讲究适度。。。。
这两个字应该经常被用来教训人吧。。。。
可是，这两个字，在我看来，是多么的空虚。。。
什么才算是适度？
自行车的前轮好不容易有足气了。。可是后轮却感觉气不足了。。。只怕一不小心打多了气，哪一天会炸。可是如果像现在这样，气又不是那么足
今天刚刚听说给汽车加汽油也有加多加少的问题。。。太多，超过3/4,不行，太少, 少于1/4，也不行。。。
学习。。。虽然俗话说这是一辈子的事情，可是，学得太多也会被叫做书呆子。 相反，学少了，叫做肤浅。。。
不是过火，就是不到位
总之，这个世界上就是有一堆的理由。。。。。。
3月19日 nothing is rightphilosophy: fallacies mixed up...&test coming up
English: suffering..totally
Calculus: so despaired that don't care any more
Eco: test coming up...boring
Virtual: late assignment...10% is gone
Can I cry and feel unfair instead?! no! U don't have the right!!!!!!2月7日 AGAINIts her again....almost made me cry although I finally controlled myself..but still it is unfair for me
Remember last time it was abt the project. I made it 4 the whole weekend and she refused 2 receive it...now it is abt work effort again. It was my first time to spend the whole night trying to finish an assignment. I didn;t sleep for a single hr....even a second. I was not aware of the low mark when I got the rubric. I didn;t really care since the course was done. I don;t want to argue abt mark any more. It is possible that the low mark is due to my personal problem of writing, so today I went to her for purly improving my English writing skills..when I saw the cumulating thing, which forced me give up my precious sleeping hrs, I finally knew the reason that the mark of this stupied thing can be so low...she didn't choose the writing I had prepared her to mark. Since she didn't see my little mark on the sheet which I want her to evaluate, she just picked randomly. I am okay with this so far..cuz everyone might be careless and make mistakes. BUT what I can't bear is her words...She said that every piece is kinda same, so it doesn't really matter about which piece she has marked. IT IS SO UNFAIR!!!!How can she dare to say that?! It is not the same definitely!!!How possible a piece of work which I spent hrs on it and the other work which only took me minutes are the same????!!! It is not the same for sure...even retarded ones know that fact!!!
I was shocked...I was too sad to say anything. Although for some reasons I always have thought that she is a good teacher...I feel that I have met so many unfair things because of her...which shows that it is not abt coincident any more...I really don't want 2 say this 2 u, but u really make me extremelyyyyyy upset!!! Maybe ur Eng skill is considered excellent...but U ARE NOT ELIGABLE TO BE A TEACHER!!! I mean it!!!!!
I wish I didn't go to the Eng office...then I would not know the thing...I might feel much happier...She might give me much better impressions....something might not happen..
I didn't show my emotion to anyone...cuz it is considered as complaint again..I don;t want 2 do that..too tired to do the same thing for yrs...I have 2 admit that too many teenages are complaining every sec...I was one of them as well...but I don;t want 2 be any more.
I still have hw to do although it is a little bit late..actually...haven;t started yet cuz of the Chinese New Year...yeah!!! The Program kinda lame but I used to watch it every yr already. It is annual program.=P
In this yr, I wish that (1st) my grandparents are in good health, (2nd) my parents can be happi forever..(3rd) I can go into uni.... Everything can be gone through and everyone can live happily!!!
Now..please...keep snowing...I don;t wanna go 2 skool tomrw....tomrw: 1St Day of the new yr...pleasssse
2月5日 insomniaIts not really abt insomnia...but i indeed couldn't fall asleep on the night before the function test..2 hrs on my bed and 1 hr on my mum's bed...it was so lame..I mean the test..kk..myself as well, though I'm not daring to say the reason that I had sleepless night was the test...maybe the empty or insecurity
I don't want to go to bed today. I prefer myself to be as tired as possible so that I might feel better tomrw----the exam review day
I can imagine the result even if I don't go ...my right eye is jumping all the time..this is not abt superstition..cuz for sure that i didn;t judge the result by this. But it is still sth. I deeply believe that hard work contributes to success..I didn;t put effort on the right thing..so I can;t can;t can;t complain...
The feeling after the exams is horrible. I couldn't feel the happiness. The only reason is that they r bad. ye..but I pretend to be fine, not really pretending..I am used to it already..right
I am afraid of the coming result although I knew it already, but after all when it becomes truth, cannot be saved anywayz.
I am definitely sure that tomrw I want 2 say that the results prove my feelings and thoughts. Maybe today I just say it ahead cuz I don;t want to add another entry for claiming that I was right. So stupied.
disappointed....scared..a little hope left 2月2日 Half Day~Because of the lovely snow, only half day today..the first day of this new semester.
I can only say that it is stupied, cuz the school should have pronounced that students do not need to go to school in the morning or previous night (which is better). Anywayz, I still did sth. meaningful today. Thx Meng here=)
The only thing I feel abt the new semester today is TOUGH! in particular, philosophy. The teacher, who is also gonna be my English guide, looked SCARY while she was teaching. Certainly, feeling this way is not only because of the context of teaching,(seems lots of work has 2 be done through this course)but her TONE. But i'm not regret yet since i think that philosophy is still a myth to me.
A funny thing happened. I was worrying abt my Eng exam paper (not as u think, it was not abt mark). It was about forgetting 2 write my name on it. Today I saw Ms. McCalla..(I thought that she was gonna mad at me, really). I asked her whether she has seen my E-mailabt the name thing. She said "yes" and then followed by "Actually u have ur name on the second page..." okay...thats really interesting, i guess. But seriously, I really thought that I did not write name on it. WEIRD
DAD!!!!!HAPPI BIRTHDAY!!!
1月31日 知足I haven't had such strong feeling for some time...
I like this word.
I should feel this way all the time, but its quite strong now~
I am not like them --- only can feel this way when 110,114..or even 119.
This is enough for me, really.
No matter it shows my level or not, enough anyways.
New semester, hopefully new start.
I don't want 2 say how I wasted time last sem, its not important any more since its passed.
REGRET? not daring to say...kk.
Sometimes we need to give up entertaining life although we want more and more
No one knows the drawing
Nicole!!!!!!
Thxxxxxxx=P
maybe someone knows this---only the one I know---Still Nicole
probably no one else
啤酒!啤酒!啤酒!啤酒!啤酒!~~~
1月11日 资格没有资格去抱怨什么
没有资格去后悔什么
没有资格去评头论足什么
应该说...
该抱怨的都抱怨了
该后悔的都后悔过了
至于评头论足....
even too tired to breathe now
this time is even worse, no clue how I am gonna face the fact three weeks later
The only thing I can do now is...keep going
怎样才能有资格...可以对自己说一声: 你努力了,而且真的收获了!
好渺茫...的资格
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