Don't be so naive...'s Blog

i prepared myself as a chinese student who is gonna have university entrance exam...just be as hard-working as them, I guess there shouldnt be any problem... I dunt feel like complaining when i was doing piles of assignments and preparing for the midterms which r one after another. Today, however, the last "defence line" seems to be broken. I just realized that I totaly put the matter of act sci exams behind my mind...when am i supposed to take them? how am i supposed to take them?!question marks...feel like everyone is trying their best to go forward, but i only wanna stay at this point and take a break

Im stuck...

im "enjoying" the feeling of craziness~hohohoho (wanna be psycho!)

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September 16

长大了～

以前总是盼望着18岁，19岁。。。认为那才是青春的开始

现在觉得那是很傻的想法，我为什么曾会盼着自己长大呢？！

长大了，意味着要独立了。。

究竟怎样才能独立。。。我又能拿什么独立

直到现在还需要妈妈帮着收拾包包呢

可是我18了

在魁北克省也酒吧，赌场随便走了呢。。。hahahaha

难不成。。。。长这么大就是为了这个？-_-;;;;

再怎么说我也在这个世界上“糊里糊涂”的过了18年了呢

鼓掌！！！！！！！！！！！

不管了，爸爸来了，呵呵，这回是真的来了

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August 30

packing....

i just finished packing today....nahhhhh...actually it was my mum helped me with my packing today...

I dunt know....I wanna try to live by myself..but when i think about those tests...exams and sth like that...im quite annoyed. If students dont have to take those kinda things, then perhaps i would like to study some day...lolz

nahhhh...thats actually the only motivation i study hahahah

im not quite sure if i still know hoe to write essay...=S

eng+math tests coming throughout the orientation...i still dunt know why i go to this kinda boring orientations...im sure i will still hang out with old friends anyways...whats the point of the orientation to me?!

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August 26

empty[ness]

My last shift today....and my first job ends here...=S

I think that I can even count the # of times I went for work by using fingers...this is sarcastic...I have always wanted to devocate myself fully to my job, but after getting it, I realized that it is uncontrollable to have other petit things block my way of going to work on schedule

Although the work is heavy and sometimes even dirty in mcdonald, Im glad to have this as my first work! Im quite happi to know these companions who r working at the same mcdonald (for sure, there r still one or two are pretty annoying) but most of them r sweetttttttttttttt!!!!!

My last week be4 the first yr in loo starts! and esp i have nothing much to do

How will i spend them without regret?! I even quit my job now..........emmmmmmm

empty...ness

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July 20

good question

I just realized a really good question:

Qui est mon/ma meilleur(e) ami(e)?

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July 12

volleyball~i love it

I feel extremely happi today~cuz of the random volleyball competition, it was sooooooo cool!!!!

I have never expected to be involved in a volleyball activity~from 2 VS.2 developing to 4 VS.4.

Our side in the end become "filles" group~I was surprised by the result of our cooperation. Some balls that I dont think it is possible to be passed over, but we did it. For sure there were "beaucoup de" mistakes as well,but compared to fun, they do not really matter at that time

This is my first time to have volleyball random competition and also, this is the time I learned to serve the ball. Thxxxxx Nazin (I guess her name is spelled like this)..."peut-etre" also the "cool guy" (the monitor)....at first I couldnt serve over...but after he told me to use the full power and blurblurblur (since he spoke French, it was sooo hard for to repeat the exact how he said, but I got the meaning without thinking)...I served the ball over!

What I also cant believe is that I am beginning to be fond of volleyball in French immersion~~French~~I still have lots to learn...like "smash", "tooch" ( i dunno the spelling in French~its sth like that anyways~haha)

it was abt 1 hr...i was sweaty...my arms hurt...but i felt sweet~

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July 10

Jardins enchantes

Jardins enchantes happened a few days ago, but i was too lazy to write down my feelings abt it=P

Its the scene which I always have watched from TV....a small garden with countless flowers and grass...and there are three musicians play instruments in the middle of the gardin, violin..keyboard...blurblurblur...I have always thought that this is wonderful and this is the life that western people enjoy...actually this is not really that enjoyable as I thought, cuz the sunshine is too strong. I feel like to be burned. This is my first time to sit down and listen to classical music. Although I dont really like it, the atmosphere is the one I always expect for (of course, at this time I think abt mum, cuz im sure she likes this kind of stuff more than me

I love watching dramas and films...but not including French ones. I just realized that although French sounds so romantic and great, the French films and songs makes me feel dissappointed...there is no plot for the films but one short clip followed by another. Plus, lots of the songs are composed without melodies....Je ne peux pas supporter

What else...I feel the first week is kinda long...and there are still four weeks....

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July 01

饱眼福了～

What am I supposed to say?! Im at beginning beginning...which means the really beginner...okay, I knew that long time be4...but I cant stand myself that I even forgot the most basic stuff when I got into the interview room...forget it!

The male monitor on my floor is quite cute and he also solved my internet pro, which makes me rethink whether foreigners have slow brain or not...I just met my French teacher...who is also cute~GOSH!I just realized that all the French-related males are cute! From the Gr9 French course to this program...lolz

I dunno abt French...but my Eng is becoming more and more influent...since its really hard to see Chinese here...Even if there r Asian faces..they speak Eng like native speakers....Certainly, there r some ppl whose Eng sucx...but thats cuz their first language is French

I havent even visit the town although I have been here for almost 2 days

wanna sleep...again~

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June 30

like a dream~

Now Im involved in the French immersion...which I have expected for a long time~

Almost as hard as I thought...I have never heard that much French be4. Right now, I finally can understand mum's feelings and realize how strong mum is. Without knowing a language but living under the environment where speak the language is a pretti stressful thing. Even though I have tried to listen what they were talking abt all the time, sometimes I couldnt get a single thing. Im not frustrated cuz I love French, but Im a little scared cuz being a mute requires lots of courages too. Mum didnt show any of her scariness during the first yr in Canada although she didnt not know what local ppl were talking abt...

Tomrw is the replacement test..I do not expect it so much cuz I know Im a beginner. Everything is perfect except there is always a group of ppl gossip in front of my door, which makes me feel annoyed. How come they have so much to say???!!!

I need to look at those survival phrases...emmmmm...I need to survive...lolz

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June 23

!!!!!

疯了！突然发现自己所担心的意外全部发生了！！！！工资没有收到。。。找人替班人家答应了没去。。。明天去学校的结果也是像我想象的那样吗？？？？？！如果是的话我宁愿不去

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June 06

timid

今天早上看到有个人从很远的地方向在公车站停着的公车飞奔而去。。。我当时认为他肯定赶不上了，要是我的话铁定是慢悠悠的走过去 GIVE UP>.< 看着他越来越向公车逼近，而公车因为红灯的原因还是停在那里，让我觉得他能坐上那部车的希望大了起来。。。直到最后，他坐上了那部公车，证明了我最初的判断是完全错误的。。。I dunno where he got such energy..to have the hope at the very beginning...I have no idea what Im doing now. I feel like staying at the same position and looking around. It seems that I want to make sure what others' plans and then decide what Im gonna do, or Im scared...abt sth. that I dunno even know what it is...probably future...probably university...probably graduating...probably my laziness...probably being an adult...probably....expectations

If I were in his shoes, I would not attempt to catch that bus, cuz I don't think that I have hope at the beginning.

It is a pathetic thing to be timid. I used to be brave..very brave

Regardless how hard Im trying now, I just cant find such hardworking feelings...maybe one day I would wake up after knowing that the uni dream is over...offer is gone...or....

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June 04

GOOD LUCK

高考的朋友们，

加油啦啦啦啦啦啦啦！！！！！！！

Everything will definitely be gone through after the two days=)

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June 03

Confidence

Confidence....I need to get my confidence back. Im not sure where I can get it. Has someone stolen it? then plz return it asap...or probably I lost it somewhere, but am I able to pick it up someday and become myself again? Where is it? im knida frustrated these days. Im not satisfied abt myself. Its not abt a little bit...but a lot.

"Confidence!" It reminds me of the scene which Annie tells Seth in the O.C.When will I have the right to speak to others like that?! I used to possess it....now I do not,definitely.

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May 07